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Seeing how I wanted to post something fun, I figured that I’d post about eating. Fine dining to be exact. Well actually, I’m probably not the best person to write on fine dining, but hey, I’ll do it anyways. I’ve been to a few pricey restaurants in my day, and some were worth it and others weren’t. The most expensive restaurant I’ve been to charged $90 a person. This price didn’t include any drinks either such as wine, which typically increases the price a lot. I’m not sure I’d ever go back to that place to eat again though. Oh well, on to my guide for fine dining!

1) Atmosphere makes the place. While this is a post on food, it’s hard to have good food when you’re trying to eat in a dump. If the place you’re eating at doesn’t have the appearance of a nice, clean place, then it may sometimes make the food not as enjoyable. If you’re constantly watching out for what you touch, then how can you actually enjoy the food! However, it is possible to eat at a place that looks amazing, but have the food be terrible, but hey, atleast the place looked nice!

2) Word of mouth. It never hurts to let your friends try out places first. If the place has terrible food, it’s not your stomach that’s complaining, but instead it’s your friends. If people highly recommend a place to you, then it might actually be worth checking out. Reviews by food critics never hurt either. Granted, not everyone has the same taste in food, but if they’re your friend, then you’re more likely than not to know whether you should trust them. Just make sure your friend doesn’t like to play practical jokes on you.

3) Good Company – Now that you’ve been able to find yourself a worthwhile place to go eat, make sure you go with good company. It’s definitely no fun to eat by yourself, and even less fun when you’re paying a lot to eat by yourself. So make sure that you have atleast 1 other person to go with to make it more enjoyable. You want to be able to have good food and a good time.

4) Don’t Go Hungry – Typically you wouldn’t want to be full when you go out to eat, because you wouldn’t even need to eat to begin with. Also, you’re not going to an All-you-can-eat buffet. Usually, when you’re going to a really high priced restaurant, don’t go expecting a lot of food. There are excpetions, such as steak places, a good Brazillian Steakhouse, or steak places, but mostly, the more expensive the restaurant, the less food you get. Don’t ask me why this is, but that’s what I’ve come to notice.

5) Dress the Part – Some restaurants require their patrons to be dressed up. Typically a dress for the woman and a jacket for the man. I think this is a pretty dumb idea, since I’m paying them a ton of money to eat, they should be letting me wear whatever I want. However, since that isn’t the case, make sure you wear appropriate attire to the restaurant you’re going to. You wouldn’t want to be turned away at the door because your tie’s too colorful now would you?

6) Don’t Worry About the Price…Too much – The point of this guide was for fine dining, emphasis on the fine. If you’re going to go to a nice restaurant, you should already know that the place will cost a lot of money. Just make sure you’re getting the service you deserve for the pretty penny you’re shelling out.

7) There’s Always McDonald’s! – In the end, it’s still food. While you’ll be able to tell your friends you went to a really nice place to eat, it’s still just food. Your stomach won’t know the difference between something you paid $60 for and a Big Mac. For me, I’d be perfectly happy eating at McDonald’s, even more so than some pricey places. If you didn’t like what you ate, just take a mental note to never go back to that place again.

Well there you have it, my quasi-guide to fine dining. I can say though, that some places are definitely worth trying out atleast once. A Brazillian Steakhouse is definitely one of those places. The waiters come around with quality meat on swords and it’s all you can eat meat. Although after you’ve been eating for awhile, you won’t be able to chew since your jaw will be too tired. You might even become sick of meat for a bit too. So next time you go someplace nice to eat, be sure to bring me along as well!

Lots of people like to talk. Very few people however like to really listen. One of the best ways to get someone to talk, is to get them to talk about themselves. Everyone loves to be able to talk about themselves. However, it can sometimes be impossible to get someone to really listen to you. They may be physically there, but they might not actually be listening.

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. – James 1:19

So in an effort to help everyone with their listening skills, here are a few reasons why we should be listeners, and how we can become better listeners.

1. Being a good listener is better than being a good talker. Yes, that’s right. Listening is better than talking. There are lots of people who are good talkers. They can give you any answer you want, always make it look like they know what they’re talking about, or even say that they care. However, just because they’re good talkers doesn’t actually mean that they believe in what they say. This is what I call political talk. However, a good listener isn’t one who will be quick to tell you something. Instead, they’ll be quick to listen to your concerns. They will more likely actually care about what you’re saying since it takes more effort to truly listen, than to really talk. They’ll attempt to put themselves in your shoes to try and understand what you’re actually going through, instead of being quick to just say something in response. If you consider yourself to be a good talker, take a few moments and try to listen without saying anything in response.

Now on to being a good listener:

2. Stop everything and listen! In a day and age where we like to be able to accomplish as much as possible in as short amount of time as possible, it takes time to really listen to someone. So make sure that you’re not attempting to do anything else while you listen to someone. Not only will your attention be divided, but more likely than not, you’ll become more preoccupied with whatever else you’re doing instead of listening.

3. Look at the person you’re listening to! This is a pretty simple one. If you’re actually looking at the person, then you’ll be less likely to be distracted by other things. That will allow you to actually focus on what the other person is actually saying. It also allows the other person to feel more assured that you’re really listening instead of just pretending to listen. Eye contact is an important thing whether you’re listening or talking. So make sure to look at the person!

4. Focus! This one probably isn’t always the easiest thing to do. If you find yourself with a short attention span, the last thing you’d want to do is to sit still and just listen. However, being able to focus on the other person is really important. You want to be able to show that you’re listening as well, so fidgeting/moving around isn’t going to help. If you need help focusing, try to pay attention to key things the other person is saying, and their body language/tone of voice. They’ll help you better understand what you’re listening to.

5. Shush! When you’re listening to someone, refrain from inserting your own personal commentary. You’re their to listen first, and offer advice second if at all. Don’t get these mixed up. If they ask you for advice, then feel free to give advice, but if they just want someone to talk to, that tends to mean that you should be quiet and listen. There will be a time for you to share your own thoughts on the situation, but till that time comes, don’t say anything that would interrupt.

6. Remember what they’re saying What good is it to listen, if it goes in one ear and out the other? While you’re listening to what the other person is saying, make sure you try to also remember what they said as well. Even if it’s in a quick conversation that really didn’t have much importance to it, it’ll still be good to remember so that the next time you talk to that person, you can ask them about what they said the previous time. It’ll actually also show that you were actually listening!

7. Repeat if necessary Here’s your chance to talk, but only if you didn’t quite understand what was said. If you repeat back what was just said, it’ll allow the other person to further clarify to you what they meant, or atleast reaffirm what they just said. It’ll help you in understanding what you’re listening to, while also showing the other person that you really are listening. You can’t repeat back what you didn’t listen to!

There you have it, a few reasons on how we can all become better listeners and why we should listen instead of talk. Listening to others will help build up trust between you and the person you’re listening to. They’ll be able to trust you in knowing that you’ll listen to what they have to say and truly listen. There’ll be a time to talk too, so if you’re the type that just loves to talk, you’ll have your chance too usually. Just remember that it’s better to listen first!

New York fashion week inspired me to think and write about how to look our personal best. Read, comment, and enjoy!

1. Drink Water! - This is no rocket science. We all know we should. Water has the ability to keep your skin healthy and help you lose weight! Most experts suggest drinking about 2 to 2.5 liters of water a day. Yep, drink water instead of pop ya’all.

 2. Don’t wash your face too much! – Over washing your face dries out your skin, especially if you don’t lotion up enough afterwards. If your face is used to being too dry, it will try to produce too much oil for its own good; thus the oily face and acne. Be sure to use a gentle cleanser and a light lotion.

 3. Include fish in your diet! – According to Dr. Grieger of iVillage, “fish contains oils that will nourish your skin.” A diet that contains fish can add “luster and softness to your complexion.” Yes I know. Some of you don’t like fish, including the Taibros. But hey, good skin’s worth it eh?

 4. Make a good impression! – Did you know that you will be evaluated within 3 seconds of an encounter? Someone once told me that people spend the first few seconds determining whether or not they like you and spend the next 30 minutes validating their gut feeling. So whatever you do during the first encounter, make it good.

5. Eat breakfast! – For those of us that need a little help getting up in the morning, this step can be very challenging. According to Phillip Rhodes of Men’s health, research revealed that “men who skip breakfast are 4 1/2 times more likely to be obese than those who don’t.” Yowzers! Eating breakfast kick starts your metabolism for the day so your body won’t store as much fat. Remember, the snooze button is not your friend. Breakfast is.

6. Work with what you have! – Accentuate your best features. Try to layer and mix/match clothes that you already have. There are also a lot of things you can do to improve your appearance without spending a lot of money! Examples include having a good posture; brushing and flossing your teeth to keep them healthy and white; and keeping your nails clean and filed.

 7. Smile!  - Did you know that smiling can improve your mood? I was reading Blink by Malcolm Gladwell and he wrote a chapter about facial expressions. Results of a scientific experiment showed that we don’t frown because we are upset; we’re upset because we frown. Thus, your frowning causes you to be upset. So smile because smiling will cause you to be happy!

With all this talk about looking your best, remember that it is your conduct that makes you most beautiful. And in light of Valentines day, I would like to leave you with the following quote:

“You don’t love someone for their looks, or their clothes, or for their fancy car, but because they sing a song only you can hear.”

Ciao!

Flame On!

So talking with my brother, it has occurred to us that many of my posts results in even more inflammatory comments. These comments are aptly named “flames” in which strong criticisms are brought up regarding my statements and positions. So having such a track record, I thought I’d make a guide on how to do it yourself!
So if you are looking to get flamed yourself, read these 7 essentials to getting flamed. I find they are quite useful for xanga entries, online blog posts, upcoming debates, forum discussions, or in general, friendly conversation.

1. Think ahead – instigating a flame talks a great deal of forethought and intentionality. This is important, since if the readers think you are ignorant of the topic, they will discount your views and think you’re a newb. Always be on the ready to think up and flesh out a well developed statement that can bring out inflammatory remarks. Remember that it takes an idea to get everything started, and if you don’t think, where are those ideas going to come from?

2. Understand the situation- understanding all sides of a given issue help in determining how to incite the most argument. It’s not just enough to be knowledgeable of the popular viewpoint, you must also be knowledgeable of and be versed in the less popular, or minority viewpoints. Understanding all sides lets you easily traverse the topical landscape of the issue and jump between sides if necessary. Additionally you can assess the strongest position (or most vulnerable) with which to take and to use as your own. Being able to do this allows you some intellectual flexibility and lets you do whatever you want with your arguments.

3. Communication Skills - being able to discourse in logical arguments will really help drive your points clearly and effectively. This is an essential skill for almost all forms of sport, social interaction, and professional trade. Being able to speak clearly will help the reader understand just exactly where you are coming from and what points you are making. Without it, your potentially flamable topic becomes incoherent and unintelligible, and people will ignore it – and thats bad!

4. Be strong - a strong statement is usually one that is black and white, with no shades of grey. Refine your argument so that there are no uncertain areas that will leave the reader guessing. Take a hardline stance! be extreme! be wrong! Its OK. Despite being in such a liberal, PC society, there is nothing stopping you from forming your own opinions or positions. In life, this translates into having a strong will and having a clear direction and focus – now who doesn’t want that?

5. Have fun – you’re doing this on purpose! its an act just short of a prank (read #6 and #7 if you are really into pranks). Understand that people may flame you for what you say. And those flames can be much stronger than yours, or even can be attacks on your character. Saying weird things or things that are even downright wrong can be perceived as stupidity or mental depravity. But remember that its not what you say that defines who you are, its your attitude and your actions that define who you are. Now that’s true integrity.

6. “Pysche out!” - thats the name of the game, or so my cheme 06 classmates say. Playing it involves conversing with this exact sort of tactic. And once you’ve made them break down and try to flame you back, you will realize that you have just been psyched out. Keep in mind that although this can include dissing people or things, a clean psyche out will involve no disrespect, rather insightful leading remarks that instigate the flame.

7. “YHBT YHL” - recite this at the end of any flamed post: “You Have Been Trolled, You Have Lost.” If they don’t get it, you have won. You have successfully instigated a flame. (The term trolling may bring up some confusion, this is the act of intentionally making controversial statements to “bait” overzealous persons into flaming you. The success comes from successfully baiting someone into actually trying to flame you. You win regardless of whether their flame is particularly true or not).

With the New Year approaching, and formal/casual gatherings abound, I thought a guide to better etiquette would be in season. Now you may be thinking “who cares?” In actuality, etiquette is very important and can help you navigate through some awkward situations. So take a read and learn the art of etiquette, abridged style.

1. The Arrival. Plan to arrive at the gathering 15 minutes later than the time printed in the invitation. Trust that your host/hostess designated the appointed time for a reason and respect their time and space. Giving those 15 minutes allows time for other guests to arrive, giving you a higher likelihood of lively conversation.

2. Come with a gift. Try to offer a gift that is valuable to the host or hostess. If your hosts are wine connoisseurs, a wine might be of value. Fresh flowers might be of value to other hostesses, etc. It is not always the monetary value that matters. Give some thought and give something of value. (Special note: If you are indeed bring a food/beverage item as a gift, do not expect the hosts to serve your gift at the gathering; they are not obliged.)

3. Getting into a conversation. When arriving to a gathering, it might be awkward to break into a conversation that has already begun. To “break into the party,” start small. Look for groups of two or three or someone standing alone. Start with polite small talk (i.e. comment positively on the room, party, or kindness of the host/hostess). Then begin to fish for topics that your acquaintances are interested in.

4. Leaving a conversation. When leaving a conversation, do so tactfully by excusing yourself. Thank the group for an interesting round of conversation and tell them that it was very nice that you had the opportunity to meet them. When speaking with one person, a tactful way to exit a conversation is to introduce them to someone or vice versa. See step 5 for proper introductions.

5. Introductions. During introductions, there are two major rules. The first being that the younger is always introduced to the older, more distinguished individual. The second being that a man is always presented to a lady. (Special note: The latter does not apply in business settings.)

6. The “are you getting married yet” question. Ah yes. The age old question for the twenty-something’s. This question might be quite awkward at times but to this, I suggest that you make it an opportunity to learn something. Ask the questioner how they knew that their spouse was the “one” and how they knew when it was the right time to take a plunge. By doing so, you’ll learn more about your questioner and also pick up some premarital tips for yourself.

7. Making an exit. Remember to thank your host(s) before exiting a party. Wait for an opportune time when the hosts are free and let them know that you appreciate their hospitality and delightful company.

There you have it, 7 steps to better etiquette. Maybe I’ll write again sometime about dining, interviewing, and other etiquette skills. For now, I bid you farewell. Merry Christmas and have a very happy New Year.

Well, it’s that time of year again, where we need to go looking for Christmas gifts to be giving people. So in an effort to be helpful, this is a definitive post on gift giving. Like all previous Taibro Guides these tips may or may not help, but should atleast be able to give you a good idea of things you can get people. Also remember, it’s better to give than to receive!

1) Remember that it’s a gift! That’s right, it’s a gift for someone else, not for yourself. It’s so easy to get caught up in looking at things that you would love to have yourself, but that’s not the point behind giving someone a gift. Make sure you’re looking for stuff that the person receiving the gift would enjoy!

2) Know who you’re giving the gift to! While it might be nice giving gifts to people you don’t really know, it makes it all the harder trying to decide what to give. While you could stay simple and give something like chocolate, or even just a simple card, it isn’t quite as nice as being able to personalize the gift somehow. The better you know someone, the more likely you’ll have a better idea of their likes and dislikes. You wouldn’t want to be giving someone a red shirt when they hate the color red now would you?

3) Make it fun and exciting! A gift should be fun, and exciting. You want the other person to be able to open up the gift and be wowed, instead of being sedate. If you give them a bad gift, you’ll know the instant they open it up and see what it is. At that point in time, there’s no return. You’ve already screwed up. So try to get something that’s fun and exciting.

4) Listen for ideas. People typically will drop subtle hints here or there about things they could use, wish they had, or things they need. While they may not be outright telling you a gift to get, if you pay close attention, you should be able to hear them tell you excatly what would be a good gift for them. This can score as bonus points too in the gift giving category because it also shows that you’re paying attention to what the other person is saying.

5) Inside Jokes as ideas. Some of the more fun gifts are gifts that refer to inside jokes that you and the other person may have. While these gifts most likely aren’t useful, they are typically easier to get. If you and your friend have some joke about a movie, then get them something that relates to the movie. This makes it a lot easier when trying to determine a gift to give. It’s also a gift that can be looked back upon and bring up memories of your friendship.

6) Money isn’t everything. You don’t need to spend lots of money on gifts. Some of the better gifts, are the ones which show that thought was put into it. You could easily just go buy an expensive gift, but it lacks the meaning and importance behind something that’s well thought out. Try to be creative and unique. Why give them a CD to add to their CD collection which already contains a lot of CDs when you can be more creative and give something that stands out better than a CD?

7) Just ask! While this may not be all that exciting or fun, or even a surprise, it does make gift giving almost a sure thing. If you ask someone what they want, and they tell you and it’s within reason, then you don’t have to worry about spending hours looking for a gift when you can go get exactly what they want. Now if you want it to be a surprise, then you’ll just have to be creative in your asking. Mazie once gave me a gift where I had basically told her what I wanted without evem knowing it. I only realized after I got the gift that I had told her. Now that’s definitely impressive. Remember it’s all in your creativity!

Well there you have it folks, my guide to giving gifts. Nothing too earth shattering really, but I do think that it should help you when trying to figure out what to give people for Christmas. I guess if all else fails, and you’re running low on time, there’s always the gift card. But I say try to avoid giving people gift cards unless they specifically ask for one. Once again, it’s better to give than to receive!