Taibros.net

So about a month ago it was announced that the Federal government will advance a 2008 tax credit to taxpayers in the form of a rebate check. For the average person, this rebate will be $600.

While there are many things to do with $600, like save it or pay of debt, Uncle Sam would like you to spend it instead.
Here are some suggestions for squandering spending your hard-earned free check.

The main trick is to spend the money on things that don’t have a continued cost (i.e. which don’t make you spend more after the initial purchase). This eliminates purchases such as phones, pets, down payments on a car, or a new mail order spouse.

1) Electronics - Not only are these quite expensive, they bring with them a certain charm of being avant garde if you purchase the most expensive/newest thing. Acceptable purchases can range from a shiny new 80 GB PS3 to two (yes two) ipods. Flat Screen TVs are also a good idea, although only if you already have cable. For more frivolous fun, purchase a pet robot (no upkeep costs!) or a pet robot-vacuum cleaner!

2) Jewelry - Nothing says “I’m wasting my money, but I’m doing it for America” than fancy new shiny objects adorning your body. Necklaces, Rings, Earrings, (Tattoos!), anything that you can show off, to your friends and everyone else you meet in public. Remember, Diamonds last forever.

3) Fine Dining - I like this suggestion a lot. While you’re helping to feed the US economy, why not use the money to feed yourself! $600 can go a long way in terms of eating out. I would suggest spending a week eating at the fanciest restaurants in your area each night. That way you can live the high life and help the unemployed! For you married couples, you’ll have double the rebate, which translates to twice as much food!

4) Stocks - While this is not exactly encouraged by the government (as its a form of savings), buying stocks can help put money back into Wall Street. As all those i-bankers are running for their lives away from the market, you can run head-first into the fray with your free money. Heck you could even afford one stock of Google at this point!

5) Gamble - Gambling is all about taking risks. But why do you have to take a risk with your own money when you can use the government’s (albeit indirectly your) money! Just like how we all like to go “all in” for every hand when we’re not playing for real money, how much funner will it be when your playing with seed money from Bernanke’s pocket? Heck, you might even win and get even more (see 1-4). WARNING: remember to cap your gambling to $600 or you might get in trouble with some loan sharks later on!

Hopefully these suggestions will help guide you in your decision making when your rebate check comes in the mail. Remember: If you don’t spend your rebate, the terrorists have already won.

oh and you hate America and babies too .