How to Ask Someone Out
March 29th, 2006
Well, it’s been awhile since I last wrote the two guides “How to Win A Girl” and “How to Win A Guy”. Seeing how many hits they’ve generated, and the popularity of those two posts, I figured I’d write a follow up post on “How to ask someone out.” I’m also writing this because my brother said that this was one of the most searched phrases on the internet, and why not get more hits to my site! 
So here goes, a few tips on asking someone out.
1) Find some one on one time - It’s a lot easier to ask someone a question when it’s only the two of you. Fewer distractions, and fewer people that can get in the way. So simply find a good time where you can be with just that other person.
2) Work up to it - Would you ask a stranger such a personal question? Most likely not! Even though you most likely know the person you want to ask out, you don’t want to just drop such a question on them. Work your way up to it in the conversation. Start out talking about other things that can get the both of you just talking. After awhile, you’ll both be more comfortable since you’ll have been talking for a period of time.
3) Be happy, smile! 
- If someone were trying to sell you something, and during the whole time they had a scowl on their face, would you really want to buy anything from that person unless you really had to buy it? Likewise, when trying to ask someone out, I would hope you’d actually be happy that you’re talking to that person. You may be nervous, but at least hide it by smiling!
4) Be confident! - This follows up on the previous point. Confidence is key if you want to help out your chances. Image can be everything sometimes, so help yourself out and at least pretend to be confident and know what you’re doing when asking the other person out. If you come across as wishy-washy, then how will they even know if you’re seriously asking them or just joking around? So relax, and be confident when you ask!
5) Do something nice - While not always necessary, this step can never hurt…unless you give the other person something they absolutely hate. So stick to the simple things, such as giving the other person a flower, or a nice card. Something that they’ll be able to appreciate. This does not mean you should go spend a lot of money on something. Buying someone’s affection will never work. So no need to waste your money and overdo things. Think simple, think nice.
6) Just ask! - If you want to ask someone out, you need to just simply ask them out. The other person will never know your intentions if you never get around to asking them. So just repeat after me: “Will you go out with me?” There you have it, nothing more to it than that. There’s also no need to drag things out for long periods of time. It’ll only make the other person annoyed or angry, and that won’t help you at all. Remember, if you never ask, you’ll never know what they may have responded with.
7) It’s not the end of the world - While asking someone out can be a nerve wracking time, it’s not something that should put you into a depression if you don’t get the answer you’re looking for. Relationships are hard, and require two people for something to actually happen. If only one person wants a relationship, then there’s really nothing the other person can do. You may have done all you can for them to like you, but in the end, it’s not your decision as to what they’ll answer. So even if they say no, everything will still be ok.
So there you have it, some guidelines to what you can do in asking someone out. These are only guidelines, and may or may not work, but you’ll never know unless you ask. 
Some helpful posts:
How to Win a Guy in 7 Steps
How to Win a Girl in 7 Steps
7 Steps to a Better Looking You!
7 Steps to Better Etiquette
The Value of a Good Smile!
Making Skillful First Impressions!
How to Apply Eye Makeup in 7 Steps
Heh, I should put together a book and sell it…
62 Comments »
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When’s the how to popose gonna come out? hehe
Comment by Anonymous — 3/29/06 @ 10:46 pm
Oh, that was me…
Comment by Crystal — 3/29/06 @ 10:46 pm
Haha you definitely should make a book and I like Crystal’s (I think) comment. =)
Comment by Elaine — 3/30/06 @ 2:24 pm
Another topic could be “How to Turn Down a Date” as a complement if you ever decide to write a book, though I guess for some people that might be really easy.
(BTW, I can’t believe “How to win a girl” now outnumbers “How to win a guy”, a few months ago the opposite was true, and by a larger margin…)
Comment by Blindshot — 3/30/06 @ 4:55 pm
I agree with your steps..good ones. I don’t think most people tend to think it out step by step like you wrote but that’s good! That’s what you’re here for!
Comment by Jackie — 3/30/06 @ 7:40 pm
LOL! You should write a book on all these topics.
Comment by Annie — 4/1/06 @ 12:04 am
heh I should write a book… the question is, would anyone buy it?
Comment by Lawrence — 4/2/06 @ 10:06 pm
Been awhile since i have seen your site… or commented on it! Either way, glad to see you’re still trying to convert the online society to lawrencism
In regards to the “do something nice” just want to say that you don’t want to overplay the niceness. Like, appear too anxious, needy or too into the girl. Because then you’re creepy and there’s no fun of the chase!
Comment by Aileen — 4/3/06 @ 1:52 pm
Very good, I like it. Good opportunity for girls to get free dinners.
Comment by James — 4/8/06 @ 5:12 pm
Most crucial step is “Work it out”.Becomes vereee difficult when the client is almos stranger…nemore simplificatio…:?::?::wink:
Comment by rohit priyadarshi — 4/12/06 @ 9:12 am
im love a girl im 9 years old and my friends say she likes me then a girl in my class says she hates me how should i ask her to be girlfriend and boy friend and when i look at her i
Comment by nick — 4/17/06 @ 9:16 am
Hey, im a 14 y.o. boy, i recently wrote ” i like (girls name), Does she like me” on my site. she saw it and simply responded “oh, thanks for telling me” no yes or no. now at school things are awkward and silent. what should be my next step???
Comment by jay — 4/19/06 @ 12:14 am
well im a 14 y.o. guy and i really like this girl i mean we went out twice already and i got mad at her for something and i broke up with her. i really regret it and i want to go out with her again but it would be really awkward how would i go about doing this??
Comment by adam deville — 4/28/06 @ 12:36 pm
What do u say if they say no????oops:roll:
Comment by please respond — 7/17/06 @ 5:16 pm
for an answer to the previous post…
review your status - see what may be bringing them to the conclusion that you’re not their kind of person…
then try and fix it.
9/10 times when the guy is turned down it’s coz he has failed to meet one of the points listed in the posts (see the links at the end of the article) or more commonly because of the way they act. Men in general are somewhat immature (that’s why you’ll usually find girls going out with older guys) unfortunately, the only real cure to this is life experience - start by getting a Job.
Ok, once you’ve reviewed and (hopefully) fixed your downfalls… work up to the point again and give it another go. but don’t think that it’ll happen over night. you may just come off as being pushy or irritating. BIG NO NO! same goes for the girls - if the guy turns you down perhaps think about how you act around them - perhaps your personalities arent compatible with the way you’re acting.
and finally… try ANOTHER fish… there are plenty of fish in the sea as they say. by going out with someone else, it may let the person you previously asked realise that you’re actually capable of companionship. it’s also good practice - a good learning experience. just don’t take advantage of others (for the guys) - and don’t let them take advantage of you (especially for the girls)!!!
Comment by AcidCow — 8/20/06 @ 9:50 am
As for the comment by Jay (see #12)…
don’t leave loose ends. she knows you like her… ask her out. For all you know, she’s waiting for the question…
don’t expect the girl to make the first move. if she says no, then atleast you know where you stand.
Comment by AcidCow — 8/20/06 @ 9:58 am
Thanks for all the help im gonna ask the girl out
Comment by Juan — 9/4/06 @ 6:58 pm
There’s this new guy at school, :grin:Jesse:grin:, and he says he doen’t have a girlfriend:smile:…and I think he likes me cuz he stares at me, but looks away and :oops:blushes:oops: when I make eye contat with him:roll:. Does he like me:?: And should I ask him out:?:
Comment by Kaye — 9/12/06 @ 7:22 pm
I like this girl, I dont even know. I know her name but I know she doesnt know me. I never talked to her. and I want to go out with her. Her name is Cari. What should I do?:???:
Comment by Chris — 9/14/06 @ 7:50 pm
:oops::oops::oops:
Comment by Anonymous — 9/20/06 @ 10:27 pm
:cry::cry::cry::cry::cry:
Comment by noobie — 9/29/06 @ 4:38 am
at the first time i red the tiltle;i taught that it wuold tell about as same as “kukatakan dengan indah” by peterpan, but after i red it i know that it is the land crocodiles’(play boys’) strategies.so,as a girl,especially sweet girl,i should be careful…he…he…he…
Comment by Princess Agustien — 11/19/06 @ 7:36 pm
Thanks! I’m asking a kid out tomorrow and my friends like say something like, “______ I really like you and I was wondering if you like me. If so would you like to go out because I think ti’d be fun, and blah blah blah.”, so I asked her ex, since they’re still friends and he said the same as you, he said say, “Would you like to go out?” Thanks alot for verifying this! Who knew advice from from bff’s stupid ex would help! I think this is great advice, tomorrow it will be put to the test!
PS
Could you make one similar for preteens and teens?
Comment by Aria — 12/5/06 @ 11:05 pm
This kid I like, Johnny, is alot like me. I don’t want it to be a repeat of my ex, Chris, who was also alot like me. I’m not sure what I should wear and if he even likes me. My friend, Kelly, thinks he does. I think I’m gonna ask him out tomorrow, but I’m scared he’ll say no. We talk alot in homeroom and we watch the same shows, play the same video games and systems, and talk alot. Should I ask him out?
Comment by Sess — 12/5/06 @ 11:16 pm
Thanks for your advice:smile:
Comment by Anonymous — 1/9/07 @ 7:30 pm
I think the girl speaking in #18 SHOULD GIVE HINTS TO JESSE AND TALK TO HIM.:lol:
Comment by Anonymous — 1/9/07 @ 7:34 pm
thnx for advice but im gd looking enuf!!! so hahaha gd luk to all u hu need this advice ehee
nah im just messin but yea i am to gd looking for dis advice ::
Comment by Anonymous — 2/6/07 @ 11:40 am
at my school you can get stuff and send it to people for valentines day since my crush really wants my number i was gonna send him baloons and somthin else along with my number but im not gonna ask him out till tuesday
Comment by cherryblossom — 2/11/07 @ 6:31 pm
Hey like your topics there awsome and great you should write a book
Comment by Caleb — 2/21/07 @ 9:18 pm
ok, im 17 right, the girl i like just turned 15, she knows who i am and we talk sometimes and my freind asked her if she liked me and she said yes but not the way i wanted her to like me, is there anything i can do to stay in the game and hopefully ask her out?
Comment by justin — 3/20/07 @ 10:24 pm
Nice tips.
But got any for winning over a girl who says she likes you but then says she doesnt know if she wants to date?
Comment by Mike — 3/26/07 @ 10:28 pm
i live in townsville and i have a crush on a guy his name is jhon but my bffl is his cousin and we had a fight and he dumped me but he keeps asking me out what do i do if you have an answer please go to Jessica.Brereton@gmail.com
Comment by jessica — 4/10/07 @ 9:06 am
Comment by Anonymous — 4/11/07 @ 4:16 am
how do i ask out someone that i have meet only twice but have been talking to her for 4 months by msn, phone and texting
Comment by anon — 4/16/07 @ 4:53 am
Thanks Taibro this website really helped a lot
Comment by Jr — 5/9/07 @ 9:01 pm
Comment by Anonymous — 5/31/07 @ 8:45 pm
Hey, im a very pretty 12 year old girl and i act and look like I am older….so all the older guys like love me. But thats a problem. look at almost all of my older guy friends as dating material. There are some exceptions but i really like a guy named Josh and he is gong o be a sophmoroe n highschool. SO my problem is that he flirts with me all the time but he never claas me or asks me to go to the movies with him or anything. Well, he is also turning 16 and im 12 so if we do decide to date i dont think my mom would like it!! I need helo how do i tell my mom im dating a guy the will be 3 years older than me in october????
Comment by Dakotah — 6/5/07 @ 10:09 am
Cheers!! this helped a lot!
Comment by Michael — 9/2/07 @ 7:07 pm
Comment by Anonymous — 10/4/07 @ 3:49 pm
ok i tried saying will you goo out with me in the mirrow and it is realy hard o smile and i dont wanna just suddenly ask her i wanna know what she thinks about me first how do i know ???
hard part:the girl i like likes some1 else
Comment by michael — 10/8/07 @ 10:39 pm
WWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH i really need to move on, or ask her again. 1 wk then she dumped me for a FREAKING MORON
Comment by Anonymous — 10/10/07 @ 6:05 pm
i like this girl and she is by my locker but i dont know her name what should i do?
Comment by jh — 11/25/07 @ 12:02 am
I like this guy but he acts strange he smiles at me and stuff but his friends tell me that he doesn’t like me.. uhh what should i do and who should i believe in??
Comment by D — 11/29/07 @ 8:10 pm
I like this guy that I just met. He smiles at me and stuff but am too shy to ask him if he likes me. what proves he likes me????????
p.s– he likes my friend though.uhh and i hate her!!!!:mad:
Comment by Diana — 11/29/07 @ 8:14 pm
easy ways to know if a guy likes you:
1:he looks at you alot
2:he is extra nice to you
although sometimes hard to know 1 easy trick would be to stand with him between you and were your friends our then wave his reaction will help to determine whether he like you or not and it isnt embarrasing also never ask him if he likes you coz he will want to lie
Comment by 15 year old lad — 12/10/07 @ 2:06 pm
best just to go for it as the longer you wait the harder it gets you run the risk of someone getting there before you applys to most things in life that are scary not just dating
Comment by Anonymous — 12/11/07 @ 3:27 pm
any1 got a diffrent sugestion for step 6
your guide is great but i think “Will you go out with me?” sounds abit….well, to the point. is there a somthing diffrent you could say to avoid embarisment
Comment by michael.r — 2/28/08 @ 1:55 pm
o yea btw im only 16 so some thing like “wanna go out for dinner” anit very easy for me since i dont have much money
Comment by michael.r — 2/28/08 @ 2:01 pm
i agree completely
Comment by Anonymous — 3/23/08 @ 3:29 pm
o well things between me and her are working out great
Comment by michael.r — 3/30/08 @ 8:48 am
im already goin out with someone but one of my friends says she’s dumping me:What shjould I do???
Comment by Anonymous — 4/5/08 @ 3:01 am
Comment by Sara — 5/3/08 @ 10:30 am
Heyy this ite is cool but listen theres this guy i like leonardo and he likes me but he wont ask me out and i have a feeling i should ask him out before its too late but how do iask him out im shyy
Comment by Melanie — 5/20/08 @ 4:53 pm
pleasee respond fast i need a quick responsee (L)
Comment by Melanie — 5/20/08 @ 4:55 pm
wow i wish i would of read this befor i asked out that guy yesterday i dont think i even did the first 3 steps…
Comment by nicole — 7/27/08 @ 4:59 pm
Comment by Anonymous — 8/25/08 @ 7:13 pm
i like this guy his name is mitchel sammons and i am to
to ask him out in person and i am thinking i shoud wright him a letterand give it to him but if not whatshoud i do 
thank you kk 
Comment by kk — 9/18/08 @ 8:46 pm
Our Lord will kill us all and we won’t have to worry about love w00t
Comment by Anonymous — 9/21/08 @ 2:55 am
GOD has a person for each of us and his promise is true.if you are dissappointed hold on, and give love another chance for it will always come.give love for it will come back to you.i pray for you all as you pray for me too.GOD LOVES YOU.
Comment by Phyb HAYZO — 10/15/08 @ 10:42 am
You people are all stupid ediots
Comment by Anonymous — 10/18/08 @ 4:13 am
omg i want to ask this guy out but i dont know why something is stopping me and i dont know what
Comment by Anonymous — 11/17/08 @ 8:01 pm
and that he has liked me for so long but was to scared to ask me out coz im in year 9 and hes in year 8.
SO GIRLS JUST DO IT, ASK HIM OUT!!
xx
Comment by Hannah — 11/24/08 @ 8:13 am