Looks vs Personality
December 15th, 2004
I have a question for you girls out there that read this site.
When looking for a guy to date, if it came down to it, would you take a guy who’s not very good looking, but has a good personality, or would you want to date a guy that is good looking but doesn’t have the best personality?
Be honest now and dont’ say that one or the other doesn’t matter if you don’t really mean it. Comment anonymously if you really want to.
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Hmm..that’s kinda hard…I would say both but here’s my final answer…if he’s so physically UNattractive to a point where I jump from fright when I wake up to his face in the morning…then yeah…that’s a no can do on my part.
Comment by Anonymous — 12/15/04 @ 9:40 pm
Personality.
Coz I’ll probably rip his face off if I found out that he’s ugly behind the pretty looking face…MUHAHAHAHA
Comment by Crystal — 12/16/04 @ 10:29 am
LOL! I like what your anonymous friend wrote. I totally agree.
Comment by Annie — 12/16/04 @ 11:22 am
it doesn’t matter if a guy is ugly… for reals… most of the time, if he’s persistent and really, really nice… he’ll get the girl… cuz girls are suckers for ugly nice guys… hahah j/k… girls are suckers for suckers who “appear” to be nice… but who’s really sure of what guys are made of on the inside anyways…
so if you’re a really a jerkface on the inside… don’t worry, there’s still hope… just don’t let the girl of your dreams EVER find out… then you’ll be sure to get your girl
Comment by Sookie — 12/16/04 @ 12:12 pm
the normal-looking guy with the great personality, majority of the time, beats out the ridiculously-good-looking guy with an attitude problem. In the short run (like asking a girl out on a date) the hot guy will have an easier time getting a date, but the good personality guy will have more girls that want a relationship with him
Comment by Aileen — 12/18/04 @ 11:38 am
I totally agree with Aileen
Comment by Elaine — 12/18/04 @ 11:42 am
yep Aileen is totally right
Comment by Mazie — 12/20/04 @ 8:22 am
:shock:if he woz realy ugly den i wud go wiv da fit guy soz 2 da mingerz:wink:
Comment by Anonymous — 6/6/05 @ 7:43 am
That figures that plastic women would make comments like they do about his appearance. I am not good looking but have been nice to women, never taken advantage of them when alone with them as when I walked them to their hotel rooms to make sure they were safe, then immediately left right after that. I have also changed flat tires for them when I saw them on the side of the road (I am not a mechanic) and asked for nothing in return and refused anything they offered. I still believe in opening doors for them and giving my chair to them too. But based upon the majority of responses in this column that means nothing when you don’t look like something out of playgirl magazine. I have seen women attracted to that type who are treated like absolute crap, and reduced to tears by good looking jerks. They know they can use women, abuse them and subsequently discard them like trash and find another one that is more than willing to take a chance with them. Unfortunately women in that position continue to get hurt and don’t learn their lesson. All I receive from them is looks of disgust or comments about how they wouldn’t touch me with a 50 foot pole in this lifetime or any lifetime because I am not a hunk. It seems to prove my assertion that women are happy only when they are miserable at the hands of a good looking jerk. I do feel sorry for them.
Comment by mrmiata7 — 6/30/05 @ 10:40 pm
me!!!!!!!!!11 aaaaaaaaaaah!!! one that i can say only is!!! the boy that good personality and good looking is some kind of me!!!!!!!!!1
Comment by dennis c. pedro — 7/24/05 @ 9:34 pm
Thats hard on so many levels, i’ve met guys who’r handsome and have a good personality (then again i’ve met stck up pretty boys 2-i’d rather shoot myself then go out with them) well luckliy 4 me im a tomboy and if i want to meet a guy i just go up and talk 2 him, but if he was super unattractive, i’d either A) Hope he likes rough n’ tumble girls, if he does then i dont care or B) Sick my pretective older guy friend on him if he asked me out
the personality brings me in but looks tend to turn me off sometimes.
Comment by S.P — 8/3/05 @ 11:37 am
I know im sad but i take looks mostly,personality is second.A girl that i like must be attractive when i see them or i ll be turned off.They must be flirtous,funny,nice and kind.I wouldnt be a jerk to that girl unless shes a jerk to me.I never treat girls badly i make friends with them but if i like them then ill ask them out (Ive never had a date ever).When we had school discos id reject some ugly girls sometimes id accept for a dance,but i feel gulity rejecting them,i cant say yes because its hard to dance with a girl thats unattractive.I think that everyone has different tastes,we all cant be a person whos shallow or a person whos a personality person.Shallow people arent sad if they ask pretty girls or pretty boys they are only sad if they reject ugly people as friends.They shouldnt bully those people cause there born with it.Shallow people can like anyone as a gf/bf.Everyone is different accept it whether they are ugly,pretty,shallow or anything.But for me there is someone out there for me.
Comment by Russian_Guy — 8/24/05 @ 5:34 am
I would say that I totally, completely give guys who aren’t so pretty a unfair ADVANTAGE over guys who are pretty. I am always hit on by both, but somehow I believe that not-so-pretty guys will have a personality. Usually, when I date the not-so-pretty guy, he turns out to be an egotistical jerk because all he wants to do is show me off to his friends and flaunt me around town. I’m not impressed by pretty boys who think they can get me cause they are good looking either, that just proves up front they are egotistical snobs. So, while I would like to say I give everyone a fair chance…I tend to go for the not-so-pretty guy..and get snowballed anyway.
Comment by Sher — 8/26/05 @ 7:54 pm
ok ya it dose matter if the guy is ugly cuz i would not like to kiss a guy that looks like an ass, lol but if u luv him i guess its ok
Comment by *+*Lovergurl*+* — 8/31/05 @ 5:30 pm
Comment by Anonymous — 9/1/05 @ 12:29 pm
im a guy and im no brad pitt but im not hideous,, in other words im not good looking..Now i have a great personality, im funny, im intelligent, im independent and am very nice to girls… but they still look down opon me, but ive met the most sweet girl, who anyone would consider a 10, and she tells me that im not ugly.,, so looks do matter,, but personality is more.
Comment by unknown — 9/5/05 @ 10:35 pm
Well, Id say that i go for looks and personality even if im not that great looking, point is i like people who like me for who i am ,not for money, looks,or brawn
Comment by Stev — 9/10/05 @ 7:28 pm
I’ve kinda got the opposite problem. I’ve fallen hard for this guy who is completely out of my league. Thing is, out personalities click like you wouldn’t believe and there are signs are flirting. But is my personality enough to overcome the obvious difference in attraction ratings?…
Comment by Shazia — 9/20/05 @ 3:23 pm
i think if they have a good personality then u can fall in love with wat they look like :razz::grin::razz:
Comment by jordyn — 9/24/05 @ 2:10 pm
Everyone has different tastes of what they like about a guy or a girl,its not there fault they are shallow or if they like people for who there personality is,everyone falls in loves differently.Im so shallow i cant change myself to liking personality chicks.If i got married with a ugly girl not my taste of course,id be unhappy and my sexdrive wil be very low so theres more chance of me cheating on her.I dont think people should crticize people who are shallow.Im very shallow but not on friends,i only am shallow on girls that i want to go out with but they are all out of my league.I m not ugly as many chicks ask me but most of them arent my taste.People who are shalow shouldnt crtize people because of how they look,they can be shallow as in fallen in love.cheers
Comment by Russian_guy — 10/18/05 @ 6:54 am
what i like is a nice pretty face and a good smile.A flirtous attidude with only me,kind,funny,smart,and of course happy.
Comment by Russian_guy — 10/18/05 @ 6:56 am
:smile::shock::!::mad::cry::mad::sad::cry::oops::razz::roll::wink::arrow:
Comment by Anonymous — 11/2/05 @ 12:48 pm
That is really hard.I would have to say both.Well a guy must have a good personality.I mean who wants a guy whose super cute but acts as if he has something stuck up his butt:!:So a guy would have to have a good personality to date me.But I will give him major points if hes cute.I mean you don’t have to be drop dead gorgous.Just decent looking.:mrgreen:
Comment by Sharine — 11/16/05 @ 6:03 pm
Bro dont listen to all this crap. Its not about personality. Its about STATUS. Good looks fall under status, social value falls under status. Anything which makes you higher value than a girl you are dating will more often than not make you attractive to her.
Personality doesnt matter all that much either. If you are high status, you can get away with all kinds of shit with a girl. You can be rude and arrogant. She may call you a “jerk” or whatever, but if she’s still attracted to you youre golden!
Personality is just something girls made up to comfort the average joe into thinking that one day his “nice guy” qualities will win him his dream girl.
Wake up. Its not gonna happen!
Comment by Anonymous — 12/7/05 @ 12:44 am
Posing this question is somewhat bogus. Very few men (and women) are at the polar opposites like this. The fact is most men (and women) are in the middle of these extremes. Myths like this need to be disspelled.
The question posed does not define what type of relationship you are looking for. One night stand, short term, or long term.
Someone not looking for a long term relationship has a less need for an attractive personaility. You don’t need to be totally wowed by someone’s personality to sleep with them or have a short term relationship. Enough personality to get you excited or happy on occasion is enough. The more attractive personality requirement comes in when you attempt to achieve a longer term relationship.
In my experience, women (and men) will date lesser attractive nice guys (girls) because they are safe and many are available. However they will always be interested in a more attractive nice guy (girl) should one be interested in them.
It’s human nature to be immediately attracted to more attractive people. Many people fight it and rationalize that more attractive people generally less personality. More attractive people and lesser attractive people can both have attractive and unattractive personalities.
The key is being able to draw people to you that you find physically attractive and/or have an attractive personality. Most people don’t know how to do this.
Comment by Beast — 12/26/05 @ 4:21 pm
well, in my opinion, i think that personality counts, especially for a long-term relationship.for me looks fade, but a soul is forever…i mean, even if the guy looks really really gorgeous but has a stinking attitude, then it’s bye-bye…there are other guys who can be considered unattractive, but have great personality.with their good prsonality,they can actually be attractive…
Comment by ukaishar — 1/10/06 @ 5:37 am
If anybody cares about my opinion…all i have to say is:Personality is what counts.I’m not tellling you people to date freddy cruger but Brad pitt was a total Ass as well.
If a guy has a great personality and he’s OK looking then you’re into a great start!
If the guy has great LOOKS and SHITTY personality then you’re into deep shit.
Thank God i have a great looking guy with an awesome personality.My advice is Personality counts.
Comment by Stalitsa — 1/17/06 @ 1:31 am
:cry:OK….where do i start from..????
here i am inlove with a guy looking just like ASHTON KUTCHER…sexy hot and all you need…BUT that’s all he has to offer…LOOKS and nothing more.
On the other hand..there’s this other guy…he looks NOTHING like ASHTON…i’m NOT attractive to him..
(i think)..BUT he has an awesome personality!
I think i’m more into looks then personalities but still i’m confused.
Do i date the second guy just because of his personality..???Somebody help me please.:sad:
Comment by Sis... — 1/17/06 @ 1:36 am
Im in a situation where i became friends with someone i wasnt attracted to, but now that iv gotten to know him i definately see him as attractive and cant help it that he really does turn me on. I think the more you get to know a person, the more attractive they become to you.
Comment by Anonymous — 1/27/06 @ 1:46 am
It really all depends upon what you are looking for at any given time. If you’re looking for just a sexual relationship then looks are all that is going to matter. If you are looking for something to go the distance then a person’s personality is what the key to this situation is.
Unfortunately, not everyone is honest with themselves about what they really want. If a woman is staying with an abusive but gorgeous significant other in hopes that he will turn around and be nice then this woman needs to have her head examined.
The other thing is that guys who long for these women that wouldn’t give them the time of day need to examine themselves. Guys, women don’t want to be with a guy that has too much assertiveness, but they don’t want a bleeding heart either.
I think the most important part is being yourself if you are looking for something meaningful. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? I hope not, and if you do then you yourself have equally as big a problem.
Looks are a teaser! They fade with time and plastic surgery might remove wrinkles and perk up breasts but it cannot make you younger or give you anymore energy. What you have deep in your heart with the other person is what is really going to make your life complete.
Comment by Imagine — 3/30/06 @ 8:35 am
i think it totally matters if ur physically attractive to the guy because without that wheres the chemistry flowing the ” i want u noww” feeling….everyone needs that but other than that i think personality is also very important butt its all about finding that guy thats personality fits yours and at the same time is good looking but girlss shudnt be picky at it i guess
Comment by taaa — 4/12/06 @ 9:08 pm
If a dude came over 2 me n he was all like yer im hot, ur hot, wer single, lets mingle
id puke on the spot!! I hate full of it men and women. I like a man 2 beable 2 make me laugh, but not at someone elses expence, i like them 2 be witty. I like a man 2 b thoughtfull, sweet, sensitive and real. not fake! Iv bin out we ‘good looking’ men and not all of em but the majority are bellends. Its the inside that counts, i know its cliche however, its a fact. looks might make u look twice but they dont keep people loving eachother 4 the rest of der lives, they dont make a marriage work. This world is becoming so superficial its scary and im ashamed 2 live in the society that i do. ever judjed someone by der looks? im sure ders pleanty of you, im not gona lie, back in school wen i was all imeture i wouldent have been interested in someone hu wanst seen as ‘good looking’ but now i have grown up and can see what matters, i think its time the rest of the world did this 2.
Comment by Anonymous — 4/21/06 @ 9:10 am
I think looks are very important… Ugly guys don’t deserve to date cute girls. Ugly girls don’t deserve to be looked at. Personality is important too but looks definetly come first.
Comment by Anonymous — 4/21/06 @ 5:36 pm
hey i think anyone that believes that looks matter dont know what they’re talking about. personality is enough to make someone look attractive to you…like, im IN LOVE with this guy..when i first met him, i thought he was so ugly, but once i got to know him, i dont think theres anyone in the world more attractive than him…confidence and sense of humor are everything…so, guys, even if you arent that great looking, dont worry, you still have hope!
Comment by haley — 4/21/06 @ 8:44 pm
I go for a guy that has better loks than a pesonality some time because I don’t want to be made fun of because I have an ugley guy.:mrgreen:But I’d also go with one that has good personality also because I don’t want him to hit me or nothin’ like my old boyfriend. He didn’t hit me of couse but he did pot.
Comment by Shyenne — 4/22/06 @ 8:51 pm
I would say: Do not go by first impressions! The cute hot guy could be a jerk. The not so handsome one will turn into the hottest lover if he’s caring, warm, kind etc…. Talking from experience, I was amazed myself at how things turned out with someone who I didn’t think would be anything more than *just a friend*!!!
Comment by donna — 4/24/06 @ 1:06 am
good looks r ok…but buy a magazine if u wana look at pretty people! if u want a relationship i wouldent go off looks coz thats not what makes a relationship work…its nice 2 find someone physically apealing however personality can change a whole way of how u look at someone, it can make someone look less atractive or more. n comment 33, ur a lame ass bitch who probly is really not atractive coz ur so shallow, wipe ya chin hunni, ur chatting shit…
Comment by kate — 4/24/06 @ 2:53 pm
looks all the way
Comment by jj — 4/26/06 @ 2:39 pm
looks and personality….if i have to choose a gilr, i will go for someone who is just 4, in the scale of 10 as hot. you know why i am just 5.But i do have an excellent personality and so called a decent status.
Independant and capable. Hot girls, no thanks, they come with lots of ego and they think they are showing mercy by loving you. That will make you feel sick.
so my advice, if you are a boy go for a girl who is little less than you. if you are a girl go for a boy who is little more than you, i understand its hard to more pretty guys, so you do your match and find where you can compromise.
Comment by Jaf — 5/8/06 @ 1:54 pm
looks attract u to the person right away but also some ppl just need to grow on you and then ur very attracted to them…i was in the same situation and the guy wasnt realy attracted to him but when we started hanging out i realy felt feelings towards him so i def say if a guy is not that good looking still go for that gurl
Comment by dasha — 7/15/06 @ 11:57 pm
I’ve thought a lot about this and realized the main/first thing that attracts me to a guy is confidence. If he has no confidence that means he doesn’t like himself so why would I like him? Looks aren’t as important to me as good hygene, if he’s dirty smells or has bad teeth he has little chance with me. In the long run personality is what keeps me attracted to a guy. I wouldn’t want to be around someone who is boring or just plain annoying
Comment by Leah — 7/26/06 @ 2:19 am
I also have to add that everyone has different taste so someone could find you gorgeous even if you or someone else thinks your ugly.
Comment by Leah — 7/26/06 @ 2:24 am
:mrgreen::wink:
Comment by Makayla — 1/13/07 @ 11:22 pm
personally ive come to realize that girls could fall for any average looking joe if they have a great personality but cute guys defineatly have a advantage as theyre the ones most recognized but if u stand out u can get anyone now u cant be looking like danny devito and expect to get the popular girl thats never gonna happen
Comment by pimpdaddy — 1/16/07 @ 8:22 pm
I think i’d go 4 d gud loukn guy with d shitty personality, coz dat way all my friends wud b soooooooo jelous!!!
Comment by Anonymous — 1/24/07 @ 1:36 pm
Personality, definately, though i’d rather they were ok looking.
Comment by Kirsty — 2/9/07 @ 9:55 am
it dnt really matter as long as they treat u right its kool.. if u got a guy with a shitty personality i think id rather chew off mi own arm.. but i wudnt be able to date a guy with bad bad looks
Comment by smiles — 2/10/07 @ 7:45 am
Let us look at the facts (even though this thread is about as old as nanna & poppa now).
As a great studier of human attraction myself (read auto-biographies and listened to/watched who I like to call “The 21st century’s great Casanova” David Deangelo as well as read books on public speaking and presentation), there are only a few key points that should be considered when trying to attract a female, however they are all broken down into many smaller facts that should be revised:
A NOTE BEFORE THE FACTS: Men form an attraction to a women based on an average of; 68% physical looks/ 32% personality, where as women form their attraction to men mostly on equally the opposite terms. This also usually means that the 32% of PHYSICAL attraction is generally formed within several seconds before meeting the man in conversation, and this is only if she is actually looking around with this interest in mind. A women is less likely to want to jump your bones just from looking at you, because naturally, looks aren’t the major priority when women seek a man (as long as you don’t look equally as attractive as a yeti, with bad teeth and a horrible smell to boot, you should be fine). It’s great for her if a man is a stud, but extremely poor if he does not have an interesting/entertaining/humorous story to tell.
1. FORGET THE TYPICAL, BE ORIGIONAL.
How many times do you consider the first line should be “Hey, how’s it going? What’s your name?”? Well if this is what you would consider a normal first line, then you can probably guess how many times each girl has heard it, and how boring it might be now, plus she will NOT remember you afterwards. Instead, what about walking past the girl you like, pointing to her drink and saying something to the effect of “cute drink.”, then just keep walking? It does seem goofy, but at the same time, she will probably laugh it off with her friends, and she probably hasn’t heard it before. You may or may not get the girl, but you have definately given her someone to think about afterwards, and your chances of her coming up to you later to find out why the hell you said something so weird but yet funny have greatly increased, and babaamm, you have just initiated a conversation out of thin air. THIS IS NOT A PICKUP LINE, BUT RATHER AN EXAMPLE OF SOMETHING ORIGIONAL & QUERKY.
MORE TO COME…..
Comment by Matty G — 3/2/07 @ 7:37 am
call me shallow but i would be embaressed to be seen with the ugly girl no matter how good her personality.
Comment by Dan — 3/9/07 @ 9:02 pm
In my opinion looks do matter but so does personality and if a boy could have both then that would be great.
Comment by vicky18 — 3/20/07 @ 10:10 am
Looks are certainly what strikes me first.
Comment by Kari — 4/3/07 @ 7:15 pm
:hiya i would go for personality more than looks because if you went out wiv somone you was fit but never talked and dumped the next day that wou;d be upsetting
Comment by Ami — 4/10/07 @ 3:42 pm
I have a comment…there is some real idiots on here for one doesn’t know how to spell.
Comment by princess — 4/21/07 @ 1:03 pm
and secondly…isn’t there more interesting things to talk about in the world then this crap?
Comment by princess — 4/21/07 @ 1:10 pm
Well i wouldn’t want him to be soooo ugly that i am scared of him but i would still love him even if he isn’t Ken Hirai (japanese equvilant of brad pitt). Plus he has to have a good sense of humor, good manners, and caring. thats what i look for in a guy.
Comment by LocaChica — 4/29/07 @ 8:06 pm
this is interesting… looks without personality just wouldn’t work for me… looks attract personality make u want to stay…
so any single girls out there? from NYC? has myspace? has personality? i’m 6ft so somebody a lil shorter… im 22 so some1 around the same age… mom mom always said i was easy on the eyes… so be easy… lol
Comment by JJ — 5/21/07 @ 9:29 pm
I am a guy so correct me if I am wrong, but my oppinion on what girls like in a guy is mostly based on personality, and still greatly by looks. But here is the good thing… the looks part just means ‘COMB’ your hair everyday, ‘BATHE’ everyday, ‘BRUSH’… ect.
I am no where near the best looking guy, but I treat girls with respect, and I keep up on my hygene. A few girls brush me off like a dead bug slammed into a windshield, but the ones who actualy want to start a relationship that isn’t based on sex or self-pleasing desires are the ones that seem to like hanging around me.
Women aren’t to picky about your looks, but it kind of goes the other way around. You need to tell the girl that she is beutiful, let her know if you like her personality or her laugh. Make her feel special, because she most definetly is. Thats how you win over a girl you love.
Comment by Anonymous — 6/26/07 @ 6:18 am
im no brad pitt, yet im no monster
but still i can not get a girl because they are all too worried about looks that they dont think about us the normal guys with the great personalities!
i for one think that most people say personality to not look bad but really would you really go see a guy if there was a hotter guy nearby! didnt think so!
Comment by anon — 6/30/07 @ 3:49 pm
Comment by anon — 7/24/07 @ 7:34 am
i would definitely go for personality because no affenceguys but the gourgous looking tend to love themselves more than anything else and i cant stand vain guys, also my motto is looks will fade but the personlity will always remain
Comment by sarah — 7/30/07 @ 12:32 pm
I totally agree with mrmiata7(post9). I believe in giving girls coats when they are cold, giving them my seat and standing up, opening doors for them and things like that, but I am not one of those guys described as ”fit” and therefore i dont ever get a chance. Girls moan when their hot boyfriends turn out to be jerks but it’s because they never stop to notice the people closest who really care for them.
k_russell_1991@hotmail.co.uk
Comment by keiran — 1/28/08 @ 6:31 pm
Well i find guys with an attractive personality will attract more than a guy with only good looks. so defo has to be personality!
Comment by Lauren — 2/22/08 @ 7:47 pm
Comment by amy — 4/7/08 @ 1:31 pm
personality lasts … looks don’t
Comment by Paris Hayat — 4/21/08 @ 10:38 am
Comment by Anonymous — 5/26/08 @ 9:13 pm
Comment by Anonymous — 5/31/08 @ 6:44 pm
i agree with you thats looks matter..but to an extent.i dated a guy who had huge craters on his face but after finding out how sweet he was i easily became blinded but infatuation NOT love. Anyways what i just said wasnt even relavent but i think at the end of the day pesonality along with half good half bad looks matter.
im tired of skanky hoes getting in the way.
Comment by sophia athari — 6/13/08 @ 3:41 am
ok so i meet this one girl and shes just an average looking girl we talked for about a week then we went out and her personality is what really got to me. shes the sweetist,kindist,loving girl that iv ever meet, but its her looks that im not so impressed by. my friend meet her also and said the same thing. im so confused on what i should do. her personality is everything that ive always wanted in a girl i usually have high standards for looks. i just dont know what to do looks or personality please help
Comment by justin — 8/1/08 @ 6:41 pm
Well i have this problem, the last few guys i have had a crush on have (in my eyes) being unattractive, but they have an amazing personality.
But i cant help falling for their personalty.
Do you think their is a way to get past the looks??
Comment by Danielle — 8/5/08 @ 8:05 am
Hey ppl, interesting discussion u have here. I thought I’d share some of my thoughts. I tend to agree with the guys here who said woman are not attracted to “nice guys” and mrmiata7 was right on the money when he said that women are ONLY attracted to bad boys. I thought that women have matured and realize that the qualities that count in a potential husband is honesty, sincerity, intelligence, sense of humour, good communicator and all the other cliche’ qualities that woman “claim” they are attracted to. This of course is utter nonsense. Granted, what women say and what they actually do are generally miles apart, but even the usual female self-deceit doesn’t seem to cover this one. Now, you may be wondering what exact qualities makes a guy a bad boy. A typical bad boy is cocky, arrogant, always puts himself first, is inattentive to a woman’s needs etc. All negative character traits, yet women flock to these creeps in droves. Why? Well let me tell u why….No sane woman would openly choose to be abused, so there must be some other factors operational here. To find the answer, we must examine the positive side of the Bad Boy traits to see what women are really attracted to.
A Bad Boy exudes untamed masculinity, independence and confidence. To women, these traits — especially confidence — are an aphrodisiac. The problem is, in the hands of the Bad Boy, confidence becomes selfish arrogance. But women are responding to guys like this on a purely elemental, emotional level.
Just as men are turned on by a woman’s femininity, so too do women respond to overt male masculinity — and the Bad Boy has it in buckets. What’s going on here is that she’s having a gut reaction to his confidence and male strength, and is blind to anything else.
So the trick is to learn to take the Bad Boy’s negative traits and spin them in a positive direction to make them work for you — in other words, to become a Bad Boy without really being “bad.” I know this information and I know it to be true because I see it happen all the time, but I still dont listen to my own advice. If I do act the part of the bad boy and I do get women responding positively, I ask my self, is she attracted to me or to this character I am playing. I think the answer is thats she is attracted to the bad boy persona and not me. But then again, if i continue being the guy I am i.e. not a bad boy, I may never be attractive to the opposite sex. I probably created more questions then answering yours lol
Comment by Ali — 8/29/08 @ 10:48 pm
I used to think that personality was the most important thing. I was immature and not really serious about a relationship. Now, however, that I am older personality is the number one thing I look for. I consider myself to be attractive but I would date someone less attractive than me in a second. In fact I am dating someone now who is not hideous but not my typical type and I would not trade him for Brad Pitt ever! Guys just have to be funny, sweet, caring, and comfortable with themselves. Personality all the way. Just look at Fergie and Josh Duhmall. He is so much hotter than her but they seem happy.
Comment by Alleesha — 9/4/08 @ 7:05 pm
actually personality is the most important thing,if he is caring,sweet,good ,well I like him
Comment by roya — 10/19/08 @ 5:27 am
if the hottest guy out there went for me, but was a jerk i wouldnt date him, it is mostly about personality, however, the guy has to be attractive in some way so i am not repulsed by him, so what it comes down to is any guy with a good personality floats my boat.
Comment by unknown — 10/21/08 @ 9:24 pm
ok i just realize the float the boat thing sounded gay, but i didnt have another way to say it, so yeah… personality with a hint of hottttness
Comment by unknown — 10/21/08 @ 9:28 pm
As a good looking guy myself, (thats what the girls say when they meet me) we tend to get too cocky and conceited at times. I admit it, and thats because we know the girls like us, but sometimes we have to be realistic and ask yourselves whether we are made perfect. So you must nt put down the handsome guys just because they act like assholes from that obscure angle because you dnt really know whats going on. However the real assholes deserve the sublime title of losers and I applaud you for outcasting dem
Comment by dan — 10/23/08 @ 2:15 am
well i have read alot of these posts and agree with most..that i would have to say attraction or lust can fade..and personality really does last and can make or break it i think in the end. You initially see looks but once you get talking that is when the chemistry starts! if you click with attraction right away or not..its the chemistry that matters..i think..just my opinion!
Comment by sarah — 10/26/08 @ 12:29 pm