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The Art of Witty Banter

December 8th, 2004

To be honest, I’m not very funny (although I always smile when I talk). But I remember the glory days when I was a bit more witty. So my observations and experiences have helped me develop
The 10 Rules to the Art of Witty Banter.

(1) Time it appropriately: many a joke hath gone awry with the ill-tempered comment.

(2) Gauge the audience: Levels of maturity, intelligence, and bantering skill warn of recourse.

(3) Think before you banter: a finely crafted comment is worth a score of coarse ones.

(4) Prepare for the worst: you might be accompanying the next god of banter. Don’t get them started.

(5) Realize the situation: understand that you are ridiculing someone, although thats the point!

(6) Reach for the goal: Your comments should be such that at the opponent’s last breath, you remark, “Touche…”

(7) Know your limits: concessions are a laughing matter, and a matter for laughter at that.

(8) Hone your skills: sublte nuances will be clairvoyant and your comments will be sharp and sweet.

(9) Listen: observation begets understanding, understanding begets power, power begets glory.

(10) Abide by the “Hit or Miss Principle”: more to come on this later…

16 Comments »

  1. “Atleast I’m taller than you!”

    Comment by Lawrence — 12/8/04 @ 7:10 pm

  2. :?:Hey! Got any good witty banter?:razz::wink:

    Comment by Catt — 7/22/06 @ 3:56 pm

  3. im naked

    Comment by Anonymous — 9/2/06 @ 6:25 pm

  4. :cool:I am the king of witty banter! Challenge me and i will crush you “Poppet”…Thank You

    Comment by Benny.P — 9/2/06 @ 6:28 pm

  5. ooo we have a comedian in the house, bring. i.t/.

    Comment by Anonymous — 9/2/06 @ 6:37 pm

  6. HEHE :lol: Sure mate…

    Comment by Benny.P — 9/3/06 @ 8:04 am

  7. :roll:

    Comment by Anonymous — 9/3/06 @ 8:05 am

  8. HAHAHAHAHA… god you suck

    Comment by JAKE — 7/10/07 @ 6:42 pm

  9. Want some real witty banter? go to http://www.wittybanter.wordpress.com

    Comment by Bryan — 10/15/07 @ 3:46 pm

  10. Be my Valentine :oops:

    Comment by Anonymous — 12/20/07 @ 2:04 pm

  11. :mrgreen: http://www.wittybanter.wordpress.com

    Comment by Bryan — 12/26/07 @ 4:31 pm

  12. mommy…I forgot my jumper!!!

    How do u like that witty titty bitty banter

    Comment by K-Fed — 2/14/08 @ 10:00 am

  13. where’s the rest of this?

    nice start… needs improvement tho’

    Comment by anon and anon — 3/7/08 @ 2:19 pm

  14. :oops: :roll: :wink: :twisted: :?:

    Comment by Anonymous — 3/10/08 @ 6:30 am

  15. honestly you have no banter .. if we were to meet i would crush you like crisps under bison .. i would drop a mighty banter bomb on you the likes of witch that has never been witnessed to human kind before.

    Comment by P — 5/29/08 @ 12:08 pm

  16. P— Your grammar is atrocious. Your spelling is child-like. You wouldn’t know witty banter if it…

    Comment by ujudge — 7/11/08 @ 2:53 pm

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